Friday, September 28, 2007

Sometimes it gets a little blue . . .

iTunes has a neat feature where it provides an "Explicit" material label for items that contain obscenities or mature content. Often, there is also a "Clean" alternative that has been edited or sanitized for more sensitive consumers.

For example, below is a great song "I hate Everyone," that you can purchase chalk-full of the F-word -- or, if you prefer, you can buy the version that uses more friendly terms like "ticked" and "jerk."

In short, the entire purpose of the "Clean" label is to denote material that has been cleaned up from it's former filthy self. Items that were clean to begin with don't have this label, like this podcast with children's stories. Below I have used a super-fancy red oval to highlight the lack of either "Clean" or "Explicit" labels.

Today I was poking around on iTunes to see if I could find any cool podcasts for Max when I found a Sesame Street podcast. How odd that the Sesame Street podcast comes with the "Clean Label" . . .

Doesn't it seem like the wholesomeness of the Sesame Street podcast should be implied? Why is that label necessary?

Yet, there it is: iTunes' reassurance that that this podcast will not contain any Muppet nudity, frog-on-frog violence, or any of that coarse urban-Sesame-Street-lingo.

My imagination has been running a wild with what has been edited out to make this fit for children. If not "COOKIE," for what, exactly, did the letter "C" stand?

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Holy Crap, my sister scares me!

When I was pregnant, I discovered this whole new awe and respect for life and all living creatures. Motherhood made me all warm-fuzzy-squishified.

My little sister Amy is expecting her third baby in January -- she CLEARLY has not had the same maternal experience as me. Pregnancy, it seems, has inspired some sort of horrific gestational bloodlust.

She just sent me an email with the subject line My First Antelope.

The message simply read, "He isn't very big, but he'll do."

Holy Shit!!! I cannot believe this woman and I sprang from the same womb. She's a friggin' barbarian! (I wish you could see her belly a little better)

Okay, okay, okay . . . I take my barbarian comment back. I need to be supportive of my little sister while she is in that most beautiful of motherly ways.

As a show of my support I will volunteer my services in decorating the new baby's nursery. Here is my proposed motif . . . alphabet blocks and family photos!

I wonder if I can find a Precious Moments figurine to compliment the decor. Something in a "Baby's first slaughter" perhaps . . .