Friday, March 02, 2012
PANTS: It’s not going to happen. You have allowed your butt to re-bigulate.
ME: Nonsense. You are just being unwieldy because the dryer got the better of you.
PANTS: The only one of us to change sizes was you, cookie-eater.
ME: Your lack of cooperation is nothing a little hopping and yanking can’t overcome.
PANTS: I’m pleased to see you getting some exercise, tubby.
ME: What are you talking about? I am a size 2!
PANTS: I think you are confused. I am a size 2. It says so on my label. You on the other hand are not a size 2.
ME: What is your problem? Why won’t you zip?
PANTS: Listen, if you must backbend over the staircase railing, the zipping simply wasn’t meant to be.
ME: Why I oughtta . . .
PANTS: Are you threatening me?
ME: Maybe I am.
Posted by Reluctant Kerry at 12:43 PM