Thursday, September 18, 2008

My, what a manly grip you have!

I came across this ad while reading a legal journal.

Oh, so often I have shaken hands with the likes of the jackass shown above. To be truthful I have never found these vice-grip-blowhards to be the most formidable of opponents. The way I figure, if these guys think it is necessary to put the power grip on a diminutive attorney who barely looks old enough to drive, it can't say much about their own legal acuity. In short, I have learned the more aggressive opposing counsel is, the less intimidated I am by them.

I have, therefore made up my mind regarding the firm placing this ridiculous (reprickulous?) ad.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Meet My Gas Guzzler

While we were visiting Zion National Park, an Italian tourist backed up his truck and crunched right into the fender of our car.


So after about seventy-two phone calls we were able to locate an honest-to-God insurance company with whom to place our claim.

While my vehicle is in the shop I have had the pleasure of driving a Chevy Silverado extended cab pickup truck. This vehicle is a behemoth. Not only to I make a complete fool of myself every time I try to park this monster, but the gas mileage is KILLING me!

I think I found the problem, though. Underneath the gas cap lives a real-life Gas Guzzler.

Can you see him in there? Let's say hello . . .

This cute little Gas Guzzler looks benign enough, but his appetite is insatiable!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

To hell with camping, let's all go INTRUDING!

My family was driving down the highway when we passed a recreational vehicle with the adorable little name of "INTRUDER"

When Matt and I reach that magical age when we buy matching sweatsuits, take up square dancing, and enter the RV market, I don't think we will want to buy a camper with such a mamby-pamby name. Oh no. We will be looking for something just a tad more menacing, more environmentally terroristic. Something along these lines:

"The Defiler"

"The Penetrator"

and my favorite . . . .

. . . the luxurious "Woods Rapist"

Thursday, September 04, 2008

How to be a wife beater (it takes more than just a dingy white tank top)

I'm already learning so much in my new state of Utah! Here's what came up in today's research:

There are formal procedures one must take if they intend to abuse their household members. That's just smart legislation! If you legalize cohabitant abuse then you can regulate it - hell you can even tax it.



Okay . . . in fairness to to the good people of Utah, this Chapter applies to the procedures by which abusers are arrested, charged, and sentenced. But you MUST agree the choice of words is funny if unfortunate.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

McCain is Old . . . But is He Old Enough?

Here is a fantastic video from The Onion:

Old, Grizzled Third-Party Candidate
May Steal Support From McCain
"I am voting for a man I can imagine drowning a bag of cats." Couldn't have said it better myself!
I think the side-by-side analysis clearly illustrates the stronger coot-candidate.