Battle of Wits

It is somewhat ridiculous how much I love Halloween. I was just relishing in the season when I remembered an interesting conversation I had with my niece Jordan last June.

She had just finished up with the first grade and was pointing out the gross inequity that is a nine-month academic year compared with a paltry three-month summer vacation.

The resulting discussion was something of a battle of wits in which she clearly came out on top.

JORDAN: I don’t think it is fair that summer is only three months.

KERRY: How long do you think summer should be?

JORDAN: I think we should only have to go to school for three months and then summer would be nine months long.

KERRY: Don’t you think nine months is too long for summer to last?

JORDAN: No. No, I do not.

KERRY: But if summer was nine months long then it would run into wintertime.

JORDAN: That’s ok. We could have fires and drink hot chocolate; and it would be fun because it would be during summer!

KERRY: So would you have Christmas during the summer, then?

JORDAN: Yes. And it would be fun.

KERRY: Good point.

JORDAN: Thank you.

KERRY: But what about Halloween?

JORDAN: What do you mean?

KERRY: Well if you get your nine-month summer, then you wouldn’t be in school at Halloween.

JORDAN: So?

KERRY: So, Halloween parties at school are the best! You get to wear your costume to school and eat candy in class.

JORDAN: Uh . . .

KERRY: See! You don’t really want a nine-month Summer.

JORDAN: Yes-huh!

KERRY: Nuh-uhn!!

JORDAN: No! Because Halloween would be in the summer, then I could wear my swimsuit!

KERRY: A swimsuit is not a costume.

JORDAN: Yes it is. I would be Barbie for Halloween.

KERRY: Barbie is a terrible costume. That is not scary at all.

JORDAN: (Pauses for effect) I would be . . .

. . . DEAD B A R R R R R B I E !

`

At that point, there was nothing for me to do but concede the debate.