Hello, I am the office perv. Pleased to meetcha!

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Dear Websense filter personnel:

I am writing this letter in defense of my character and to deny using my office computer for inappropriate purposes.

By way of background, I recently read about a necklace that sold at auction for more than $2 million. Curious to find a photo of this pricey string of pearls, I ran a Google search with the following terms:

Try, if you will, to imagine my surprise when this innocuous search triggered the Websense porn filter.

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I am saddened to find myself in the position where I must affirmatively assert that my search for a "pearl necklace" was, in fact, literal.
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Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you that your first impression of "pearl necklace" was that of hard core pornography. Tell you what: why don't you get back to me when I run a search for something more blatantly disgusting, like "Cleavland Steamer."
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Get your mind out of the gutter Websense.
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Very Truly Yours,
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Reluctant Kerry