Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Geoducks

I had never heard of a geoduck before last night. I'll be honest; I was far more comfortable with the world I knew before I became aware of the existence of geoducks. Dear GOD those are disgusting little bastards.

This freaky little creature, my friends, is a geoduck:

Looks a bit like a clam gnawing on a unwell phallus, does it not?

Here's what little I know (which, if you ask me, is too much) about the geoduck, or panopea abrupta for you fancy book-learnin' types.


The geoduck (aptly pronounced "gooey duck") is the world's largest burrowing clam. When fully grown they weigh approximately three pounds. Even more disturbing is that geoduck has a life expectancy of up to 150 years with the oldest recorded at 163 years.

THAT'S TOO LONG!


Apparently . . . . and this is awful . . . people eat the geoduck.

Sweet Jesus why?!

This "delicacy" reportedly has a sweet flavor and crunchy texture that is best appreciated when eaten raw. I've often wondered, is the word "delicacy" synonymous with "incredibly creepy?" I have perused the internet and found recipes.

RECIPES!

Do me this one favor, if you ever find yourself in a restaurant, and happen to read Geoduck Sashimi on the menu, slowly back away from your table and RUN!

Never before have I actually wished complete extinction upon an entire species . . .

I'm fairly sure whatever sicko made children pose with geoducks should be required to keep his address up to date with some sort of offender registry.

7 comments:

Jason Hill said...

Nice.

There is a college in Washington state whose mascot is the Geoduck:

Never underestimate Geoduck pride!

Jason Hill said...

Oh, I just remembered that back when I was in school we would play them in basketball and I was the P.A. announcer for basketball games. I always had to supress my giggles when I introduced the "Fighting GeoDucks!" Good times.

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Anonymous said...

I just love your pictures! They are so refreshing.

Reluctant Kerry said...

These photos ARE refreshing. Thank you. As refreshing as a brisque sea breeze . . . at low tide.

Anonymous said...

Delving deeper into geoduck lore, it turns out that the geoduck was the inspiration for the alien creature in the recent horror movie-one I highly recommend-Slither. Also, the suggestive shape of the geoduck inspired Evergreen State's loveable latin motto-omnia extares-which means let it all hang out.
See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geoduck.
Finally, they inspired this most recent reluctanthomunculus post. So, I reject your call to wipe the geoduck species from the face of the planet. Rather, I say, let us firmly embrace our geoduck bretheren for they serve as a muse to humanity. A penis-shaped, shit-eating, muse, but a muse all the same.

getalife said...

Great site! Not to mention educational.