sleep junkie

I hate mornings.

A lot.

Have you done this? Bargain away your shower, your nourishment, your VERY soul, with every slap of the snooze button?

I was trying to remember how many time I hit the snooze this morning. Here's my snooze-button-math (I like to show my work). Let's see . . .

. . . each snooze unit equals 9 minutes (why is that, by the way?) . . . alarm went off at 6:25, but I didn't get up until 7:46 . . . there's 60 minutes in a an hour . . . carry the one . . . that is 81 minutes of snoozin' . . . 81 divided by 9 . . .

I hit that son of a bitch 9 times!

That means that I had to make 9 desperate bargains to be able to sleep in later.

Snooze Slap 1 - I'll just have to hurry a little bit this morning.

Snooze Slap 2 - No TV while getting ready.

Snooze Slap 3 - I'll skip breakfast, and eat a Pop Tart in the car.

Snooze Slap 4 - I won't shave my legs in the shower.

Snooze Slap 5 - I'll just pull my hair back, then I won't have to waste time blow drying.

Snooze Slap 6 - A Shower? Nah, that's not happening this morning. Scented lotion and a double spritz of perfume should do the trick.

Snooze Slap 7 - I'll just lay in bed for the next 9 minutes to think about what I want to wear.

Snooze Slap 8 - If I wore my pajamas to work, would anyone notice?

Snooze Slap 9 - Maybe I should just quit my job.