More and more of my friends are beginning families and have an abundance of cute little kids. In light of that fact, it is with heavy heart that I say this. I don't think I like strollers.
In fact . . .
. . . I think I hate them.
(strollers -- not babies, I have no particular beef with babies)
I would never give strollers much thought if they were a normal, appropriate size. However, a stroller that transports a 10-pounder is approximately 150% larger than the motorized Rascal that transports the four-hundred-pounders that roam the isles of Sam's Club.
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The size of these babymobiles is counterintuitive. We're dealing with tiny hands, tiny feet, tiny heads, tiny tushies. One might think the conveyance for these tiny people would consist of a tiny seat, tiny wheels, tiny space, tiny inconvenience to others. But one would be wrong on all counts.
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Babies are small. Strollers are HUGE!
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Why? I ask you, why? Why does a stroller require a canopy, a food tray, a cup holder, a complex system of compartments, shelving, and storage units? How many survival provisions are necessary for a trip to the mall?`
When one of these things is fully loaded with baby accoutrement, heaping with bags and Build-A-Bear boxes, the stroller becomes a dangerous roving menace.
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Strollers are the urban assault vehicles of the pedestrian world.
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God help the poor souls that find themselves in the path of the stroller. Get out of the way; the stroller is most definitely coming through. There will be no slowing down. There will be no polite "pardon me." There will be no swerving. There will be no mercy. Save yourself and get the hell OUT OF THE WAY!
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Might I recommend a more simple infant transportation system?
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